If I was where I am today, two years ago, I probably wouldn’t be this excited but I can’t not share it with you. Last fall, you’ll probably remember, I announced that I was going to attend UVU, majoring in photography. Well, as usual, things didn’t go as planned and I went back to my community college and finally passed my stupid math class. At that point, I took a break from my business to enjoy the holidays and winter season with my dad and my family. It was exactly what I needed. I attempted to take the next math class I needed, and I was able to appeal that class to drop it from my record. My dad passing away and Math 1050 were just not a good mix, whatsoever.
After being at the community college for so long, I have finally decide that I am done there. No, I haven’t received my Associate’s Degree. Yes, I do only have 2 classes left until graduation. Am I ashamed? Yes. Am I embarrassed? Absolutely. Am I ready to move forward? You bet your bottom dollar. I know that it’s just “two more courses,” and then I’ll be done! I get that, I’ve been at this for 6 years. But I’m ready for something different, something more serious.
So, as of last week, I have been officially cleared to register for classes at UVU. Exciting!!!! But this is even better, it’s for my Bachelor’s Degree in MARKETING. Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it. This is definitely not the path I would have ever chosen when I was like, 14. It is something my dad would always remind me that I would be so good at. What I really want to specialize in is social media marketing/communication. I was deciding between a communications or a marketing degree and meeting with the advisor, I felt best that it would be marketing. The classes seem so intimidating and I haven’t had a full schedule since forever. I just cannot wait for fall semester!!
I’m only sharing this with you because I ask that you please have faith in me. For someone who deals with severe anxiety and depression, it is even more difficult for people to worry about decisions I make, instead of accepting, loving and encouraging me through these decisions. I understand how worried some are, because maybe this isn’t the right time with my dad having just passed. Or, maybe they just don’t think I should take on too heavy of a load. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been doing school for 6 years, with nothing to show of it, that it just might not work out. It’s discouraging and it sucks. And it DOES make me want to quit. It DOES make me depressed. It DOES make me feel like I’m taking on too much. So STOP telling me that it will do this for me, or it will do that. Just stop it. It’s not healthy.
I have been in a very good spot for a year now. Better than I’ve ever been before. I’ve probably said that a lot, but it really is better this time. I’m happier, I have more energy and my outlook on life is totally different than it was about a year ago. So please, have faith in me. Tell me that I CAN do it. Tell me that I CAN finish school. Tell me that this CAN be a positive thing in my life. BELIEVE in me, and express it. ENCOURAGE me, genuinely. I know I will do so much better, if those around me, supporting me, are positive about this just like I am. If you’re worried, pray for me. If you’re unsure this is the best decision in my life right now, pray for me. If this bothers you, pray for yourself and for me.
I’ve prayed about this decision. I just know that this is right. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for in a college education. And nonetheless, my dad is absolutely proud of me right now. He is so happy that I’ve accepted financial aid. He’s incredibly proud that I’m following my passion in life, through schooling. He knows that I can do this. He’s basically a huge factor in pushing me towards this. He knows how much this will benefit my life, and be good for me.
I’m not angry at anyone. I’m not upset at anyone specifically. And if you think this post is about you, it’s most likely not. I’ve experienced the same reaction as this post probably will get, as I did years ago. Let us lift each other up, instead of holding each other down for worrying things might not work out. If they don’t, then they don’t. You move on, trusting in God.