Browsing Category | strength

Never Alone

I think it’s really easy for us to feel alone. I feel that way often, even if I know that I’m not.

Sunday’s can be really hard for me. I’m not sure why, but I can experience really bad anxiety when it comes to going to Church. It’s not because I don’t want to go, or using it as an excuse. All I know is it gets hard for me to breath and I cannot relax. This past Sunday, we had a baby blessing. With that comes what feels like a billion people. We already have a big ward as it is, so it was a full house! We were all dying of heat. I just felt like I was sweating to death and being sick just doesn’t mix well.

I got up after the Sacrament and left to the foyer where it was much cooler!! I remained there all of Sacrament meeting and it was really nice. It was just me and nobody else, which I was really surprised. While I was sitting out there, I saw this picture of Jesus Christ hanging on the wall. Now, Brady and I have been in many different wards during our four years of marriage, so I’ve seen this picture in this building, for probably 95% of my life. I thought to myself, why is this wall so bare? Why don’t they get a new image of Christ to hangup? It’s so outdated. It’s as old as I am! But then I decided to take a picture of it because I was quickly reminded that all we need in life is Jesus Christ. Yes, cheesy symbolism. But it’s so true.

Christ may be the only thing on this wall, but that’s okay. Because the only thing we need in life is our Savior, Jesus Christ. It is so easy to get distracted and forget who we really want to be. I know that I want to be like my Savior. I am faaaaar from being like Him, but I do my best every day. I can’t tell you most scripture stories, but I can bear my testimony on Christ. I can’t tell you much of His life, but I know that it was incredible.

Remember, the next time you might feel lonely. Christ is there. He is always there. Even if He is the only one, He is still there.

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.John 14:18, KJV

The Man I Married


I call this the “babe face,” or “Brady face.” 💛 When he looks at me like that, my heart completely melts. It’s a soft, confident, genuine look of love and happiness. It’s the set-everything-aside-I’m-totally-serious look… the one that sees right through me and tells me that I have indeed found the one in whom my soul loves.

Brady is so patient with me. My life has not gone as planned in any direction I have, or have tried, to take. It is frustrating, and it is lonely. I feel like I will never get a chance to do the things that I want to do; which is everything. I have been humbled in my efforts to choose to be and feel and live happy this past week. I’m really trying… I really am. I am doing a lot of self-pep talks and things. God has shown me a side of my heart that I haven’t seen in a very long time.

Brady and I are kind of in the middle of making some decisions regarding our future plans and all that comes with it. It’s scary, it’s intense (mostly for me 😉) and it is trying. I have called upon God many-a-times this week to help me to just be happy and to see things as Brady sees them. To trust my husband and not that devil on my shoulder named anxiety. It has been hard, not in an ignorant or complaining way. Anxiety is hard.

But when I throw aside all of my arguments, all of my wants and dislikes.. I’m finally able to see the man that I love and married and dated and waited for. I am able to see him as more than I ever have. The unknown frightens me to death and leaves me feeling so physically sick. This week, I have had talks with myself, doing self-soothing and all, and when I stand outside of my box, I see that Brady is seeking out my happiness, he is seeking out our happily ever after, he is planning for the future we both dream of… the future we will work hard for.

I love my husband very, very much. I have made it very well known since he left on his mission 7 years ago 😉 and I will keep making it known. I love talking, writing and sharing how happy & loved he makes me feel. I love sharing that happy part of my life with you. And I’m sure those readers who’ve been around a long time are probably happy to read happy posts!! My husband isn’t the enemy that my depression & anxiety make me feel. He isn’t keeping me from doing things I want. He does believe in me, and he wants what’s best for me.

I’ll leave you with this. When we met with our Stake President for our temple recommends and sealing recommend for our wedding day, he shared with us something that will stay with me through all eternity. He said, “if you put his/her happiness before your own, you will be happy.” 💕 My gosh, can I just tell you how true it is! 

I love my husband and his happiness is my happiness.

xoxo

What I Can Do with My Anxiety

I’ve been having a no-good, horrible, very-bad day. It started with going to work. A huge panic attack arose. I couldn’t fight it, I kept it in as long as I could. Then I broke down. Cried really hard. Confessed honest feelings about myself to my husband. And here I am, watching Netflix already feeling panic about going to work tomorrow. 

After talking to my husband & my mom about the things I can’t do in regards to my life and mental health, I started to feel tired. I usually do. Crying brings a migraine and that brings exhaustion. But I felt strongly about making a list a things I CAN do when I’m experiencing anxiety.

It’s so hard to coninually feel like all you do is negative. All you talk is negative. Your thinking–negative. Because that’s anxiety. But I want people to know that I can function when I’m experiencing anxiety. Even if I can’t hold a job, I can still be productive and take care of myself too.

  • Read a book
  • Go to the temple and serve
  • Craft/create
  • Therapy
  • Clean
  • Small business from home
  • Meet with Karli–meal planning
  • Exercise ☝︎
  • Learn a new skill
  • Spend time with family/nephews
  • Go to the library
  • Blog
  • Maybe start growing a garden?
  • Go to church
  • Take notes on something
  • Hiking

These are just a few things I know that I can handle when I’m feeling anxious. I’m not some lazy human who sits at home and sulks in sadness. Of course, there isn’t anything wrong with staying home. But I also enjoy having many interests, it’s part of being an ESFJ.

I’m going to try to make a self-care kit and probably include some of these!

Preorder CULTIVATE by Lara Casey

Preorder CULTIVATE by Lara Casey

You all know how much I adore Lara Casey. I read her book Make It Happen and I can’t even begin to tell you how much it influenced my life. It was an interactive book but man is she an amazing writer! I found myself drawing closer to God every single day because of her inspiration and encouragement.

Well, she’s got a second book coming this summer!! Like next month!! I’m so excited. It’s called Cultivate. If you know Lara, she is always about cultivating. I love her shop, Cultivate What Matters. I pre-ordered this book, and you can too! Lara and her team have a LOT of fun bonuses when you pre-order. Access to many amazing graphics, tips, ideas, and much more!! Let’s give you a little peek!

Preorder CULTIVATE by Lara Casey

Isn’t that so exciting!?!? Man, Lara has so many great things in store for those who pre-order! And you can do that now!! :) You can pre-order your book in paperback, digital and audio on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Christian Book, iBooks, and Lifeway! Let me know if you decide to pre-order, then we can read together and talk about all things cultivate!!

xoxo

Preorder CULTIVATE by Lara Casey

Easter Sunday

I’m a week late getting this post up but better late than never!

I have the cutest husband in the world. :)

Brady and I are moving this weekend so we’re kind of in-between wards right now. We went to my mom’s ward (the ward I grew up in) on Easter Sunday. I was so anxious and so nervous. I don’t know why I get that way about her ward, because I know everyone there, but I just do. Luckily, we got there with minutes to spare so nobody really talked to us (relief). When it was over, we rushed home to grab our stuff for a family Easter feast! :)

We had amazing dinner with our family and my sister-in-laws family. Say whaa?? Yup! Our families are really good friends and we do things together every now and then. I’ve been on a meal plan (last week was week 1, more to comeo n that later) so I wasn’t able to eat the delicious lasagna and breadsticks that everybody else did. But, my meal was yummy and I couldn’t wait to eat it all!

I’m very thankful for the Easter holiday and another reminder to focus on Christ a little bit more. I’m grateful for Him and the Atoning sacrifice he made so that I can see my dad and other loved ones again. I hope y’all had a wonderful Easter!

xoxo