Browsing Category | goals

In the coming year

I’m excited for the coming year. I’ve got some ideas of things I’d like to start doing more, maybe some things I’d like to learn. One thing in particular that I’d like to start doing is reading more books. I don’t like to have regrets, but I wished I would’ve picked up a love for reading when I was younger. There’s so many books that I want to read and never enough time! With the new year and new schedule, I’m hoping to make more time to do so!

I’ve got over 500 books on my TBR list.. not sure that I’ll ever get through them all but I’d LOVE to start reading more of them. I’d love to start reading different genre’s. Many bloggers/book reviewers that I follow read so many different kinds of books and it inspires me to do the same! I’ve always stuck with my normal LDS, Young Adult clean romance novels but I’d love to branch out and learn so much more. I am LDS so it’s obvious that my go-to books are definitely LDS based and I’ve never been one to care for much more than YA romance, YA fiction, LDS fiction/non-fiction, murder-mystery/mystery, self-help, etc. We’ll see what I get to!

I also have some goals to get more familiar with my Silhouette CAMEO 3 machine. I can’t seem to figure out the darn thing. Haha! Anyone have some awesome resources or tutorials they loved? Send them my way. I don’t have anything particular that I want to create… actually, maybe I do. PLANNER STICKERS!! You know, those cute stickers people make for the Erin Condren planners and stuff? I have some personal planner sticker ideas that I want to try and make. Wish me luck!

I’d also love to start a garden. Probably just a flower garden because let’s be real…. I won’t eat anything you can grow (at least, that most people grow). Maybe grapes, or…. actually, idk. Haha!! I also can’t wait to get a dog or two again. B and I have decided to adopt this time, through the Humane Society (wherever our local one is). I’m excited! A lot of upkeep but we miss our first dog so much. SO much!

What I Can Do with My Anxiety

I’ve been having a no-good, horrible, very-bad day. It started with going to work. A huge panic attack arose. I couldn’t fight it, I kept it in as long as I could. Then I broke down. Cried really hard. Confessed honest feelings about myself to my husband. And here I am, watching Netflix already feeling panic about going to work tomorrow. 

After talking to my husband & my mom about the things I can’t do in regards to my life and mental health, I started to feel tired. I usually do. Crying brings a migraine and that brings exhaustion. But I felt strongly about making a list a things I CAN do when I’m experiencing anxiety.

It’s so hard to coninually feel like all you do is negative. All you talk is negative. Your thinking–negative. Because that’s anxiety. But I want people to know that I can function when I’m experiencing anxiety. Even if I can’t hold a job, I can still be productive and take care of myself too.

  • Read a book
  • Go to the temple and serve
  • Craft/create
  • Therapy
  • Clean
  • Small business from home
  • Meet with Karli–meal planning
  • Exercise ☝︎
  • Learn a new skill
  • Spend time with family/nephews
  • Go to the library
  • Blog
  • Maybe start growing a garden?
  • Go to church
  • Take notes on something
  • Hiking

These are just a few things I know that I can handle when I’m feeling anxious. I’m not some lazy human who sits at home and sulks in sadness. Of course, there isn’t anything wrong with staying home. But I also enjoy having many interests, it’s part of being an ESFJ.

I’m going to try to make a self-care kit and probably include some of these!

That Entrepreneur Life – Multipotentialite

Ashley Ziegler headshot by Abbey Kyhl

According to Wikipedia (the most untrusted website) a Multipotentialite is:

An educational and psychological term referring to a pattern found among intellectually gifted individuals. [Multipotentialites] generally have diverse interests across numerous domains and may be capable of success in many endeavors or professions, they are confronted with unique decisions as a result of these choices.

AKA we never know what she is doing because she always changes her mind.


The first thing that came to my mind was, is this really a thing? I laughed about it for a bit the other day, seriously and laughing at the idea of it. Someone must have made this word up. It totally sounds like a made up word. And maybe it is, I’ll never know. But after doing more research, and watching this awesome TED talk, I’m starting to finally feel understood.

I can’t even begin to tell you/express how embarrassing it is to constantly be jumping from the next adventure to the next and hearing from others how it all just looks crazy and they just never know what I’m up to. Clients won’t want to book me because they’re afraid I’ll just cancel or change my mind on them. Nobody will want to buy my cute stickers that I make, in my Etsy shop, because there are soooo many people who already do. And my newest adventure, nail school? Yeah, I won’t be able to make enough to pay back what I spent on schooling… it’s depressing and extremely frustrating.

It’s a daily, consistent battle with myself. Do I really need to do anything at all? Do I really need to just find one thing? Can I really just enjoy having a job and nothing else? Can I handle just coming home and not having anything to do and be content with that? Do I really have the courage to give up my photography business, throw the nail school idea out the window, and believe that my designs for Etsy aren’t going to interest anyone?

Nobody is at fault here, and nobody has made these decisions or caused these questions. It’s how I’m wired. It’s just who I am. Entrepreneur? Probably, I can definitely be that. Creative? It’s my favorite outlet for ALL of my emotions. Each time I was in the hospital, my favorite therapy session was art therapy. I always felt most calm, most “in my element,” and most content. It’s the real deal for me.


I’m just ready to accept that I’m always going to be changing interests. I don’t have a “calling.” If I do, there’s definitely more than one. I’m happiest knowing that I can do and be whatever I want to be. I don’t have to be a doctor just because I’m really smart. I don’t have to be a wedding photographer just because I know how to use a camera. I can make all the flippin’ stickers I want because if no one else uses them, I know I will. I guess the price I pay for following many of my interests is the frustration that comes with road blocks. I’m sure it’ll always be that way. But I know, hope, believe and have faith in myself, and that I can do anything I put my mind and heart into.

 

Are you a multipotentialite? Let’s be friends!

xoxo

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Quiet Car Rides

Something that I really enjoy doing is driving. I love driving far places, and just spending time with myself in the car. Maybe that’s why I love photography and the wonderful opportunities I have to travel to shoot weddings. There’s something so freeing about just relaxing, seeing the beauty of the earth and traveling.

Occasionally I’ll play softer music instead of my usual Jam Out! playlist or my Country music playlist. My softer music includes piano, violin, Mormon Tabernacle Choir and many other artists from CD’s like Especially For Youth program, etc. One particular song always brings comfort to my heart, “Our Savior’s Love.” The rendition I listen to is Hillary Weeks; she’s an amazing artist!

 Sometimes being in my car, spending time listening to the beautiful music of the Gospel, really calms my troubled heart.

I have been feeling extreme burn out lately. The thought of reading scriptures, scriptures I’ve already read before, just feels like a chore. I’m not reading because I want to. Sometimes I’d just rather stay at home on Sunday’s instead of going to church. Exercising and eating better fell off the wagon when I went on a recent vacation. Blogging, photography, and anything creative just aren’t satisfying right now. It’s so hard to feel burn out in a lot of aspects in life that use to consume you.

I’ve changed. I’ve become a quiet person. I don’t socialize or talk to people. I’m not loud and obnoxious or outgoing like I used to be. I’m just quiet, and definitely a homebody now. I’m hoping this summer will be a fun, relaxing summer of just simply having no responsibilities (except work). I want to enjoy being outside, reading books, spending time with my family, going on dates with my husband and swimming. Doing nothing. It’s all I ever want to do.

But, sometimes all you need is a sweet, humbling, simple reminder that peace exists. You can be and feel at peace. You don’t have to be perfect today or tomorrow or even next week. You don’t have to do or be every idea that comes into your mind. You don’t have to impress anyone and everyone. If school isn’t right for you right now, that’s okay. If loving your job or corporate position is fulfilling to you, that’s okay! If spending time at the library brings you happiness, you should go more often. Life is hard, but it doesn’t have to be hard every single day.

Be you, be happy, love God, serve others and live your life to its fullest.

xoxo

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Up in the gym just workin’ on my fitness

I’ve put off blogging about this for a little over two weeks now but decided that since I’m now committed than I ever thought I’d be, why not share?

So a couple of weeks ago I kind of had a “lightbulb” turn on, or whatever. There comes a point in your life where people can say all of these things to encourage you to do something or make a change. They can tell you all of the good things that come from it, and how they know by experience that all of these things are good. People can tell you time and time again until you’re blue in the face.

For me, that was exercise and nutrition.

But nothing will happen until YOU come to grips with yourself and make that decision YOURSELF and for YOU. Nobody can make you lose weight. Nobody can make you choose to eat carrots instead of cheetos. Until you come to the realization that you want this for yourself, it’ll never happen from someone else.

I’m finally in that place. So I got myself together and made the brave decision to start seeing the same gal that my sister sees, who helps her with her diet. It’s amazing! She’s been so wonderful to work with, even though I’m only on week two. HAHA

Anyway, the first week was really hard. Like REALLY hard. My first day (why I chose this day, I know not), I photographed a wedding so I couldn’t make my dinner because I wouldn’t be home. I lived off of water that day. I was starving. The next day or two, food was all I could think about. Literally. Then it got a bit better after having the same snacks every other day and meals. I really tried hard to make myself try something new: like string cheese.

I’m not doing any 30-day diet, or some exercise program. In fact, during my first week of eating differently, I didn’t exercise ONCE… not ONCE. And I’m happy to report that I lost 4 POUNDS and 3.5 inches total!!! :) I can’t believe it. I was so shocked. And the best part, I actually enjoy eating all of the food that I have been (minus a few items). This next week is simple and should be pretty easy which is nice since we’re packing up and moving Saturday.

All I can say is, you have to do something like this for yourself because you want to. Don’t do it for anyone else but yourself. You can do this, do it with me! :) I’ll cheer you on. Follow me here on insta: @ashcanfitness

SW: 233.8
CW: 229.2
GW: 155

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