I had the craziest, busiest day ever. But at the same time, it was such a slow day. We didn’t have that many patients at work so I basically read over 100 pages in my current book. I am really liking it so far, and I’m proud that it hasn’t taken me long to read all of it like it usually does.
As work was coming to an end, I was getting easily stressed out. I had three errands to run in 1 hour and fifteen minutes, and that included driving time. They were all very important things, and I still had to make it to the gym somehow, AND grocery shop before dark. Oh, and I forgot I had to get something from my parents’ home. I hate driving in the car for long periods of time, unless we’re going on a vacation. But I felt like I was running around with my head cut off trying to do a million things. And when I finally got home, everything I got at the store was so heavy (or maybe I’m just weak) that it took me 4 trips to carry it all to the apartment. I was so tired, I skipped the gym. What a workout that was!
After bringing in the last few things of the groceries, I sat on the couch drinking some water, trying to calm my breathing. I have a hard time breathing when I get my heart rate going (basically we call that working out) and as I sat there, I pondered my role as a wife, and having to do the grocery shopping. I thought of waiting until Brady got home so he could help me carry them in. I also thought about having to do the laundry, clean the kitchen that’s way too messy, vacuum, clean the bathroom, and we can’t forget, the never-ending duty of organizing our small place. At this point, all I wanted to do was sit and do nothing. I wanted to finish reading my book. I wanted to start on my designs that I couldn’t on Sunday. I wanted to do everything except my wife duties. But I knew I had to put the groceries away because we had cold items that needed to be put in the refrigerator.
I felt so busy, so alone. I was complaining in my head. It isn’t fair that I am always doing the chores, or grocery shopping, or forever getting after Brady for not rinsing out his bowl in the sink that is just 1 inch away from the place he sets it on the counter. We have too much stuff, and he didn’t think about helping me tidy up the place. What a nice surprise that would have been. I was getting angry. Brady is going to medical school so the thought of having to do this alone, really hit me. I’m going be doing a lot of things on my own for a while because he’ll be so busy with school. But how dare I ask him to lend a helping hand while he’s so busy getting straight A’s, so we can stay in our hometown for medical school right?
I felt like a pretty bad wife after those thoughts. I cleaned the kitchen up, tidied up the table, put the groceries away, and folded the blankets. I made sure to take care of all his Xbox controller’s and put them where they belonged so I wouldn’t step on them. When he came home was so happy and so relieved to come home. I feel bad getting upset about how much work I have to do after working all day when he has a full day of school, all week, plus a part-time job. Now this isn’t a post of comparison on who should have it easier than the other because as a couple we should pull the weight together, but it was a humbling experience for me. I’m serving my husband by doing these small and simple acts around our home. I want him to come home to a fresh, clean, stress-free environment, and I get to be the one to do that for him. I love Brady so much and would do whatever I could to help make his load light, including an extra 4 trips or more from carrying groceries from my car to our apartment.
I know I will have days like this because no one is perfect, and life is hard. But I love that I get tomorrow as a clean slate, to try a little harder to be a little better. I know Brady appreciates the things that I do, and I’m not trying to be selfish. I just wanted to share what I like to call, my first real wife moment.