Sunday, Brady and I were a few minutes late to Sacrament meeting but the second we sat down on the bench, I could feel something different. You’ve probably guessed it, the Spirit. It was strong. It felt good. It was peaceful, and just cheerful. I felt happy to be there, happy to learn and partake of the Sacrament. Brady and I taught in nursery this week (aka, just myself) and play toys with the kids and eat snacks (because we all know that’s why everyone loves nursery) and listened to a lot of stories meshed together but never the same subject by one of the cutest little girls in our class. They’re so fun and hilarious and just makes you have the best happy Sunday ever!
Your lessons really do make an impact on these small and young children. We learned about taking care of the bodies Heavenly Father gave us by doing things such as eating good food, playing soccer (or any other exercise), washing our hands, and getting enough sleep. Right before we left, one of the moms came in to greet her daughter and when she asked what she was coloring the little girl repeated back everything that I had told them about what they were coloring (what I just said in this paragraph). I was so surprised but it made my little nursery leader heart melt. They really are listening and they really do pay attention. I mean, of course, animal crackers are a bonus and keep me alive during nursery ;) but I love being in nursery. We have the sweetest kids, they’re so easy to be with and it’s just the best calling in the whole wide world.
The reason I share this post is because I have been experiencing some feelings that I’ve never been familiar with. I found myself not wanting to go to church or even read my scriptures. I am just so exhausted from having to always defend my faith and myself and my life. The world is so awful right now. I felt like I was cracking under the pressure of standing tall and smiling day in and day out while having tomatoes thrown at me all day every day. I just felt icky inside and I didn’t know what to do about it.
I knew that I needed to pray. Saying a prayer is usually the first thing that comes to my mind when I’m in need but it usually becomes the last thing that I do. Why is that? Why do we do that? Haha, when you figure that out, let me know. I said a prayer silently in my heart for the help to overcome these feelings. A lot of these feelings come from grieving my dad’s passing. I’m just conflicted and feelings so many emotions. It’s normal to do so, I know that. But it doesn’t make it any easier working through it all. I knew that if I had any emotions, questions, doubts, fears or just needing some encouragement, it would be God and only Him to help me–to truly help me.
I said this pleading prayer every day for a couple of days before this past Sunday. The second I walked into the chapel, it was like I stepped into another realm and nothing was ever the same again. I gave God some time in my life. I gave Him the time to hear my prayers, to answer them, and so much more. I gave God some of my time on Sunday to teach the children in nursery. I gave God some of my time listening to the talks during Sacrament meeting, the beautiful branch choir musical number and partaking of the Sacrament. I gave God some of my time… so that He could use some of His time, to help me. It is all about His timing.